the waiting day

today, two years ago, was the waiting day.  we waited.  my ex-doctor had come to tell me that they suspected the cause of my fever might be an infection in my uterus.  if so, it was untreatable without delivering the baby.  if so, then the baby had to die.  this was probably the most horrifying moment of the whole nightmare.

an amnio was done to get some fluid.  the fluid woud be tested for pathogens.  fancydoc smelled it and said that it smelled okay, a good sign.  i got to see my baby girl wiggling on the ultrasound, looking not at all like she needed to die.  i got a photo to clutch.

then we waited.  all day.  we called some friends and family.  we didnt watch tv.  we speculated alot.  and waited.  i laid in bed and watched the feet that came in, waiting for my doctor’s feet.  when she finally came, after about 6 or 7 hours, she had “that look” on her face.

the memories are just sickening.

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~ by complicatedmama on December 29, 2007.

One Response to “the waiting day”

  1. oh god…i just remembered that while we waited in the ER for the sonographer, husband and i talked about our old truck. we were supposed to get a bigger, new one to accomodate…you know, the baby. he said, “well, we’ll see if we even need it now.” i almost just threw up remembering that.

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