i dont want to go and you cant make me

I DONT WANT TO GO TO THERAPY. i dont want to go. i dont want to see this therapist. psychiatrist, fine. therapist, no. i want to see the psychiatrist so maybe he can give me meds and i can feel better. but i dont want to be in therapy with this therapist. maybe with any therapist. i dont know. feels like ten pounds of overcooked broccoli is sitting in front of me and i have to eat it all. blech.

not smart to schedule pilates, private session with pilates teacher and therapy all in the space of four hours. i’m not ready for all of this. my heels are dug in. relapse feels very attractive. argh.


~ by complicatedmama on February 1, 2008.

7 Responses to “i dont want to go and you cant make me”

  1. FWIW I see a homeopath and I have found it a big help. It doesn’t stop all the shit, but certainly makes it easier to cope with.
    I hope you figure out what you want to do. Maybe just go and if you don’t like it don’t go back. I hope like me things are worse for you in the imagining than in the reality. You’re right though thats one hell of a schedule.

  2. I see my psychiatrist regularly and on the sample of one, the therapist I saw after V. died was utterly useless and I didn’t trust her. My psychiatrist is the one doing my psychotherapy.

  3. Can you find someone else to do it? If you don’t feel comfortable with this person, maybe you can find someone who makes you feel more comfortable.

    I wish you luck.

  4. you have to like your therapist….i’ve had at least 10 – probably more since i’ve moved so much (and i have a lot of issues 🙂 some serve their purpose for awhile but should adapt their approach as you change. some aren’t smart enough or care enough to do this and then they just suck. i had one that was tough on me when i really needed it and it worked…but once i got through the crisis she just never changed her approach and i always left feeling beaten up and crappy. if i feel worse and not better when i leave my therapist…its time to go. its a pain in the arse trying to find one that works for you but when you do you’ll know and its like a HUGE breath of fresh air! i say keep looking – its worth it! you’re worth it – life’s too precious to waste your time with some jackass. Have you tried EMDR at all?- great for trauma and all around anxiety……love you – hang in there!

  5. just wanted to let you know i am still here and reading and thinking of you. you should probably go because if you don’t want to you usually need to. it may not be the right therapist. or it might just be giant and hard.

  6. i always have the best sessions when i almost cancel.

  7. I think you need to feel comfortable with your counsellor/therapist (whatever). That doesn’t mean you have to like therapy, but I really feel you need to trust the person you are working with or you are not going to get what you need: a safe place to grieve, speak, cry, be angry…to share your story. Over many years I tried several and nothing clicked until finally (by some miracle timing) I came across this wonderful woman. I was grieving deeply, madly, it was like walking around without any skin… I used to hate going to see her, but I still knew deep down I needed to do it. I feel more whole now, happier and I am a much better partner and Mother for the work that I did. Before I was broken, now I have little fragments inside to nurse but the strength to do it – and to live again. Be kind to yourself. You’re going thru a hell of a ride.

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