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i did it.   i made it through thanksgiving.  my first non-pregnant sober thanksgiving since… middle school probably.  let’s see, how old was i when my sister and i started sneaking wine into our bedroom.  i remember going on stealth missions to secure a bottle a wine only to get it into the bedroom and find that it had a cork.  damn.  back for a screwtop which fortunately wasnt too hard to find in our house. the wine tasted awful but it was well worth it, the way i felt. we played captain and tenile on our 45 records and billy joel on 8 tracks.  we used tall green tupperware cups.  when we got older we played drinking games.  one time we had to drink every time madonna sang “papa dont preach.”  yikes.  that may have been the year that we got my normally stoic grandma tipsy and the three of us pounded on the table chanting for my mother to “burn the stuffing, burn the stuffing.”  i always liked my stovetop with a nice crust on it.  ahhh good times.  i must have been in college the time i got high with my aunt and she stole my one-hitter.  “how was your thanksgiving?”  “well it was pretty good except my crazy aunt snagged my favorite one-hitter.”  i’ve been stoned just about every thanksgiving since then.  except yesterday.

it was going pretty well until a guy came up and offered me some weed.  last time i saw him was on a family camping trip in september when i was asking him for pot at 9 in the morning.  i wasn’t tempted but after that i got to thinking how nice it would be.  the music, the lights, the kids in the pool with the water changing colors, the food, the wine.  [the kids are screaming again, right now that is, better just hit publish or this post may never see the light of day.]

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~ by complicatedmama on November 27, 2009.

5 Responses to “insert title here”

  1. Yay, you made it!

  2. Congrats that is a big accomplishment.

  3. Ahhh the strength to pass one up. It takes a lot, I mean why not just have a puff? No big deal right? I’m not there yet, I’d like to be, but that’s a path I’m not ready to walk down.

    Good on ya though!!!!

  4. Hope you had your first sober new years as well!!

  5. Wow. I came across this blog while trying to figure out if I should tell my therapist that I smoke pot and that the paxil isn’t working anymore and that I am losing my mind. I so could have written everything that you have written here in the last few posts. It’s nice to know that I am not alone even though I wouldn’t wish this on anyone else. The incessant negative inner-narrative has driven me to be hooked as well. Everything you said about thinking you can handle yourself and can dole it out in respectable amounts when you do have some around. I hope you keep writing.

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